NEVER AS OLD AS YOU
I heard you say you were notorious and glorious
Well I say that's a funny name
For a girl I went to high school with
Who used to give me lunch time change
And show all the boys the back seat of your daddy's car
I can't believe your stories
Nobody grows that far
And you lied and you cried
I was mystified when I was sixteen
Yes it's true
But there's one thing that I’m sure of
I’ll never be as old as you
I got a parakeet missionary
Among canaries who always tell the same dirty joke
About the holy ghost and his Roman gang - the time they did too much coke
And walked around holy city laughing at statues of saints
I told my bird to quit it - canaries usually faint
And you lied and you cried
I was mystified when I was sixteen
Yes it's true
But there's one thing that I’m sure of
I’ll never be as old as you
I get local delivery of your misery - even the milkman leaves a note
And the neighbors sure were very shocked about your drawbridge and your moat
I mean once a knight is enough
For all that chivalry stuff
Baby put down your armor
Your poker's only a bluff
And you lied and you cried
I was mystified when I was sixteen
Yes it's true
But there's one thing that I’m sure of
I’ll never be as old as you